
Lateef drafted in a room that wasn't open.
ALL RISE FOR THE SEPTEMBER DRAFT THAT EXISTED ENTIRELY IN LATEEF'S HEAD. On September 15, Dr. Myles asked what time the draft was that night. The next day he announced he'd already taken Jaylen Brown. Aris arrived with an imaginary Joel Embiid. Mike called cap. Somewhere, an empty ESPN draft room wondered why it was catching strays.
For the record: these were chat jokes, not Ballers Only selections. The real draft is Sunday, October 18 at 6:15 p.m. The court recognizes Lateef's 2024 championship. It does not recognize his new calendar.
Motion to start the season a month early: denied. Set an alarm, champ.



